Kilian saw an urgent and significant need to maintain personal, spiritual and professional growth during self-employment as an artist and during ministry as a minister. He struggled through with major depression and experienced anxiety. He has struggled with God, wrestled with topics of morality, has been discouraged by churches and cultural Christians, along with modern existentialist Christianity that had left him feeling less than fully human. Feeling at a loss and wanting something real rather than services that only seemed to induced "chorus" experiences without addressing the sufferings and tragedy of life. He says, "People of have forgotten how to be humans, life is full of suffering and disappointments, but there is beauty to be found in the present with a personal spiritual life. Beauty in Brokenness. Beauty is the doorway to the sacred."
Kilian is a teaching evangelist degreed in Christian Ministries, majoring in General Ministries, Biblical Exposition, and Biblical Studies. He is an 2018 recipient of the Stone-Campbell Promising Scholar Award. Kilian has counseled individuals regarding interpersonal, health, and religious problems while performing spiritual education activities to the public through speaking and leading discussions. Five years of supplying preaching and lessons to churches across the United States. Mass evangelized, preaching at a conference of 3000 youth in Gambella, Ethiopia upon invitation from Mercy Partners. Cross-cultural evangelized upon entry into South Sudan twice to evangelize with a request from a host of local churches by hosting leadership conferences, youth conferences, and testifying on demand resulting in 63 baptisms in the River Nile. He currently evangelizes in the community of Chatham, VA., and is creating a universal online adaptive education system for empowering ministers.
why you are here...
.Wherever you find yourself, you are in between stages or orientations.
Perhaps you see yourself in one of the following...
1. A time of Orientation: Life works by design, and God blesses the righteous and punishes the wicked.
2. A time of Disorientation: Those periods when we feel threatened by events, people, or perhaps even God himself; the righteous suffer, the wicked prosper, life does not appear to work by design. It is what some have called the “dark night of the soul.” The believer is often able to assert that God will be his/her deliverer.
3. A time of New Orientation: A celebration of God’s deliverance from disorientation. They give voice to new insight into God’s character and deeds as a result of the rescue just experienced.
Since experience is the master teacher of trust, without acknowledging periods of disorientation (a season of experience), we begin to lack spiritual awareness while losing conviction, which may lead to spiritual immaturity. We must recognize our situations, experiences, and "disorientation" if we are going to steer clear of resentment (ingratitude), lest we confuse our suffering within the structure of existence with "suffering" coming from the Ideal (God). See, spiritual growth and results can only be brought about when we have been enlightened by venturing into and emerging again from the darkness. The human spirit can look beyond himself or herself in search for reasons of gratitude (for us it is the beauty of God) in a “breaking free” event from the chains of ingratitude which closes us in a world lightened only by the self.
In a world where attention is a currency, we are less mindful of the present. We learn from art that attending to the present is an art. It is not a trivial thing. Each moment contains an aspect of eternity. Our day-to-day ruminations, worries, and concerns about our fragility blind us from the present. There are beauty and value to be found and seen in what is immediately in front of you, regardless of the circumstance, situation, and state of brokenness.
I believe there is a biblical mandate to be encouraged to give our entire attention to what God is doing right now (Matthew 6:34) in our lives. The articulation of one’s feelings and thoughts during different phases of life is an essential feature in our worship. Some might be tempted to say that worship is about God and not us, but this is a glib response. It fails to acknowledge that all true worship involves our response to God and the work He is doing in our lives.
Our everyday concerns organize our lives, but now and then we find ourselves jolted out of our complacency in something vastly more important than our immediate desires and interests, something not of this world. From Plato to Kant, philosophers have tried to capture the particular way that beauty dawns on us. In fact, beauty shines on us in the ordinary things, like a sudden ray of sunlight or a surge of love.
It is true that beauty speaks to us like the voice of God. It is beauty in its various forms which is the driving agent by which man as a personal being shows himself created for not only community but for eternity and an eternal God. Nobody sees all the pieces. We, fortunately, fall into the beauty in between. Only God above you, painting the scene. Life on earth is just a transition, from Earth to Eternity.
This site will encourage you and prepare you to articulate feelings and thoughts during different phases as well as equip you with tools that you may be able to find the beauty in between phases. Through beauty, we are brought into the presence of the sacred. The experience of beauty connects us with the ultimate mystery of being.